Voices

Even if the voices aren't real sometimes the voices have some good ideas.

Sprint Triathlon and something

I have recently started training for a Sprint Triathlon on October 3rd, I stared before Becky bird passed (I still miss her a lot).

The idea to do the Sprint Triathlon started one day when I looked in the mirror and was sick of looking at my fat self staring back at me. I went on Weight Watchers and lost like 40 Pd but was still looking saggy and fat. I asked a friend what he would do and he said I needed a fitness goal and on that day I choose my fitness goal to a Sprint Triathlon.

Fast forward to today and I am now 60 Pd lighter and in decent shape. I still have some sag and a touch more too tight or loss here and there.


History recap, about a year ago some events happened while I was dating I was lead me to gain confidence in myself. At the time I really had no idea what my limits were anymore and I am still not sure.

Fast forward back to today and yet again my personality is changing due my efforts to train for this pending Sprint Triathlon.

Thankfully, my focus has been on the Sprint Triathlon which has helped distract me from being single or missing Becky bird.
What I find interesting and scary in a deep corner of my soul is that for over a year now I have become more and more unfamiliar with portions of who I am.

This concerns me in some ways but in others ways I figure I will find out when I get there.

So that is what is going on recently.

DKC

PS: There is a girl that I meet recently and for some reason my soul thinks I will date her. The situation is not the best and I really do not have any logic for the feeling. But I seem to blindly trust this odd feeling, so we will see how that works out.

Becky Bird 08/14/01 - 06/18/10

Becky Bird my dear pet past away 06/18/10. I was away on vacation in Syracuse at the time Becky was with friends. She past suddenly from what my friends told me, I am not sure if she missed me, got scared or was ill.
A little more about Becka Lynn Bird Cazman (Becky), she was given to me as a gift from my father when I went to FL for a visit. My grandmother was still living at the time. When I first got her I sat with her and stared at her for a day to try and figure out a name that would suit her.
I like names similar to Susan because the name can also be Sue. That was my first way I got to Becka Lynn. After that I decided that I like names with the letter B and finally I wanted something less common, this is how I got Becka Lynn Bird Cazman or Becky Bird Cazman for short.
Shortly after deciding Becky’s named, I decided I need to make her a promise. My promise was that I would always do my best to love her, protect her and to give her the best life I could manage.
When I returned to NJ, Becky bird came to NJ with me on the train. This was the beginning of my life for a little longer than 9 years begin with Becky bird.

Becky was a sweet, friendly bird; very loving in fact she loved most guys. For whatever reason Becky decided I was her favorite and only toy. Becky also treated me like I was her husband, son and brother she was always very protective of me especially when I would take a nap with her near me.
When Becky first got home to NJ I refused to respond to her various noises and after some time Becky stopped making a lot of noise. This is how I came to affectionately told people that Becky thought I was deaf.
I called Becky many things over the years. My Flying crap machine, my flying crapping vulture, my love, my Dear and other things that I cannot think of at this time.
For now this is my eulogy, I will continue more later on, this blog for a while may just be my memories and open letter to my pet past so excuse me for being away so long and for focusing on one topic over my next few entries and days.

DKC