Guess I am just strange

I use to be able to have aimless sex but now I want to have a relationship and I have trouble. It was far easier for me to just have sex with a girl then to date her. When I changed myself away from having sex I changed myself so much I am not even sure how attractive I am to ladies anymore.
These are the reasons I am going to a therapist and probably why I am single.

I am an out of the box thinker or me creatively insane, just not in a dangerous way. However, I do know I have a deep anger and rage that comes out sometimes. It is something I have to work on with my therapist as well. If I ever have kids the anger or rage would not be suitable. I have been known to act fast in a fit of rage and that is not good especially for kids.
Though at 36 and not knowing a woman that I want to marry, I am starting to wonder if I will have kids anymore. I am not sure that is what the accumulation of my life is about. I would like to have an effect on history and society but maybe children are not the way that will happen. Sadly there are no more light bulbs to create.

That is all for now,
DKC

New Goals

My new goals are the following

The following has the overall new two basic guidelines I am going to try and direct my life to.

1) Be as happy as I can be
2) Buy stuff

So with that in mind

Buy new furniture. I have to replace everything except my bed, living room TV, Living room TV stand and PC (needs some upgrading). $8 thousand or so for everthing here.
Join a gym for some bike riding.
Join a dojo to get back into the martial arts .
Get on a plane that will take me some place. Hopefully at least California and Florida.
Go sailing .
Go hiking regularly leading to a reasonable over night camping trip.
Go on a cruise.

That is enough for now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

May it bless us all with good health. For with health everything else can be had.