Monday, January 08, 2007

Guess I am just strange

I use to be able to have aimless sex but now I want to have a relationship and I have trouble. It was far easier for me to just have sex with a girl then to date her. When I changed myself away from having sex I changed myself so much I am not even sure how attractive I am to ladies anymore.
These are the reasons I am going to a therapist and probably why I am single.

I am an out of the box thinker or me creatively insane, just not in a dangerous way. However, I do know I have a deep anger and rage that comes out sometimes. It is something I have to work on with my therapist as well. If I ever have kids the anger or rage would not be suitable. I have been known to act fast in a fit of rage and that is not good especially for kids.
Though at 36 and not knowing a woman that I want to marry, I am starting to wonder if I will have kids anymore. I am not sure that is what the accumulation of my life is about. I would like to have an effect on history and society but maybe children are not the way that will happen. Sadly there are no more light bulbs to create.

That is all for now,
DKC

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