Catalyst or Changer

I define catalyst as the tool used in a change and I define changer as the total event using the tools.

In my life it seems that’s I am often a catalyst to change but never the changer. For a long time I had a problem with being used by some power to facilitate a change. Recently someone told me that I need to surrender to my catalyst like attributes therefore becoming more effective at it. I have thought a long time on this advice and I just remember a book serious I have been reading Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time. In this book serious Mr. Jordan brings up a similar theory were women had to surrender to something and men have to fight it in order for the best results. Overall, I partly agree with Mr. Jordan and the person that told me to surrender. I know that by surrendering to “the forces of life” that make me a catalyst everything will flow easier and have more impact. I also know that I can not just allow myself to be “used” all of the time. I yearn to be the change creator or I try to help direct the change thinking this change would not be occurring if I was not here. This thinking is what makes me male and human and is mostly wrong but a small undetermined part is right. Maybe some day in the future I can figure out how I can be at harmony with the change and take an active part while being a catalyst. For now my silly thoughts muddle things and create problems for the change that I am part of.
That same person told me that I need to focus on what and why I am in the situation rather then what the situation is and how the person is going to be altered. This makes insane amount of sense and I can not think of how I can go wrong approaching the situations as open minded as I can. However, I find it hard to just let something happen or enjoy being part of the phenomenon. I also have not always realized that I am learning or what is going on with me while the circumstances are occuring.

DKC